07.12.2004 - 2:14 pm
the motherfucking stomach virus from hell descended upon my household friday night after swimming lessons. this is the first time since friday that i have not had a child attached to me, rubbing snot on me, puking on me, screaming no and hitting me. the fourth trip to the emergency room, multiplying dollars times visits in my head and subtracting hours of lost sleep. it is not humanly possible to survive on such a dangerously small amount of sleep but it is like giving birth, you can only go foward, it is never-ending but there is no backwards motion, it is barrel on thru it and out. all three of us sleeping on the floor, in one of my least proud parenting moments yelling shut the fuck up after five hours of screaming and no sleep to be had and co-parenting my ass, on our anniversary, oh the irony. driving on the 205 at 1:30am to get my child to sleep, even for 20 minutes. desperation.
this morning, a trip to the fish store, the world's smallest aquarium, a blue fish named jojo, mopping up more puke, coaxing a screaming child that sleep is really your friend, a moment to breathe, to remember my name is more than "mama", a pause.
